March 2012
130 posts
What if I got my nips pierced
ihopericksantorum:
I hope Rick Santorum’s debit card gets declined at the supermarket and he doesn’t have any cash and there’s a huge line behind him and everyone is glaring at him.
February 2012
105 posts
I want vegan lasanga
ancient-bruises:
I hate that when I take the time to ask someone on tumblr a simple personal question like “What college do you go to?” and I get a bullshit sarcastic response. Okay, we get it, we all know you’re fucking hilarious, but I asked you because I was honestly curious about the answer. I wasn’t trying to test your fucking comedy skills, fucker.
TERPS IS MARYLAND. Congratulations for...
I can’t wait for this Mayan calender death raid stuff to happen so I don’t have to worry about being alive anymore.
afterme-welcometheflood asked: What college?
I want to go to a burlesque show. thanks.
I officially got into my college.
My day sucked. Now it sucks a little less.
Woman: Can I have birth control?
Government: No.
Woman: I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
Government: No.
Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
Government: No.
Woman: Well, why can't I have birth control?
Government: Because. Sex isn't for recreation. It's for procreation.
Woman: But it can help regulate my period and benefit me in other ways.
Government: Too bad.
Man: For no reason other than for recreational sex, may I have birth control?
Government: Do you have a penis?
Man: YES, YES I DO!!
Government: WELL HOWDY, VALID CITIZEN. You can buy condoms by the dozens. Here, here's a pack of special condom for "His Pleasure." Oooh, these come in different colours and flavours. Here, try these. They have ribs on them. And this one glows in the dark!! LOL OMG DICK LIGHTSABER!!
Government: But seriously, you're a man. You can do what ever you want.
Woman: But-
Government: Shut up, you sinning, freeloading hussy.
The only person that understands me is Indian food. :(
booksandrecords:
Harmony Parking Lot Song |...
Andrew Jerkson Jerkwad the Blog: Tickets On Sale... →
andrewjacksonjihad:
Dates with Laura & The Cans and ROAR
March 8 - San Francisco, CA @ Bottom Of The Hill March 9 - Portland, OR @ Backspace March 10 - Seattle, WA @ The Highline March 12 - Vancouver, Canada @ The Media Club March 13 - Calgary, Canada @ Local 522 March 15 - Regina, Canada @ The…
Welcome back to Oklahellwholema
Strawberry banana peanut butter smoothie. Dead.
This is really funny if you know who shelby is.
Mom: I love you
Mom: dad loves you
Mom: shelby loves you
Dad: how strange.
1 tag
woke up in a puddle of blood :(
tipoftheiceberg asked: Where did you get that NoFX shirt? I'm guessing it's an older design from the looks of it.
If Common Sense Was Used in Government and the...
Citizen: I don't believe in abortion.
Government: Then don't get one.
Citizen: I don't believe in birth control.
Government: You don't have to use it.
Citizen: I think gay marriage is a sin.
Government: Don't marry the same sex then.
Citizen: I want my kids to learn about creationism.
Government: Take them to church.
cocksmokers:
Whiskey Is My Kind of Lullaby...
We had a “motivational speaker” come to my school today. First, he told one of the students to leave because he was resting. Usually I wouldn’t have minded because the student could have been taken as being disrespectful, but when the student had to go to the hospital yesterday for fainting in class, I believe that he has the right to sit there and listen while he rests....
Vegan Followers.
lainexvx:
surewhathuh:
Reply with your favorite vegan food. I want to know what would be available.
help her out. she needs recipes and advice on veganism. she wants to start. support yo!
http://theveganstoner.com/
http://www.cok.net/lit/recipes/
http://www.easyveganmeals.com/
http://cookeasyvegan.blogspot.com/
there u go
lost six pounds
gaining it all back by eating 40 oranges.
Dear men, just because you showed up to an event just to see me does not mean I owe you a kiss (anything for that matter.) If I liked you or wanted to kiss you, I would do it on my own without your help, without your pressure. That’s the end of the story, goodbye.
Today in my physics class we were going over the exam we took, and I was the only person who got one of the answers correct, so my teacher asked me to work it out for everyone. I freaked out, had a anxiety attack, and cried in front of my whole class. Congratulations Heather.
